Dear Easter Bunny,
My Cadbury Eggs are gone. This was the last one. Mmmmm, caramel -- a quality flavor. Here it is resting on my Kindle, something else that you brought me (you know who you are):
As a Fake Jew, I don't concern myself with your whereabouts of when you will be coming next year. I know that if I see Cadbury Eggs in the store on MLK Day, then Easter is early. Keeping my fingers crossed for next year; use your influence.
Pie Jesu,
Tofu
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