Gain 4 lbs With Tofurkey

Dear Turkey,

Pretend you're me. You just had another stomach bug and lost 4 lbs. Your husband keeps telling you he can snap you like a chicken. You have three boxes of Honey Nut Cheerios that your mom got you from BJs. What do you do? 

Okay, okay, I'm not really asking you what YOU would do. It's just a little rhetorical device so that I can tell you about another one of my traditions: every Saturday I bleach my towels; every other Saturday I bleach my sheets. If I don't, I die: tradition. 

Oops, not that one -- bad fingers! This tradition really is something that I grew up with: Jewish guilt -- oh, stop, bad fingers! For real: one of my mom's friend's daughters "invented" this recipe for 4H when she was like 10 years old. If you don't know what 4H is, you are fired from my blog audience. I don't need you. 

Sometimes, children have infinite wisdom:

Chocolate Peanut Butter Cereal Bars:

In a pot, melt

1 c peanut butter (natural works just fine)

1/2 c all natural light Karo Syrup (joke)

4 T sugar

Turn off the heat and stir in 3 c cereal of your choice, except Grape Nuts.

Spread this into a big pyrex brownie pan. Don't bother washing the pot. Next, melt

2 c chocolate chips

1/2 c light Karo Syrup

4 T sugar

4 T butter

Do the same thing with 3 c of cereal. Cool and slice.

I am ashamed.

Take it from me, those 4 lbs will come right back.

Sometimes kids really are brilliant. I mean, chocolate, corn syrup, AND sugar...what else do you need? Oh, yeah, butter.

I moss you,

Tofu