Turkey and Tofurkey: True, Kind, Necessary: NOT the Story of Doing my Taxes

Dear Turkey,

I just read this awesome parenting book, and it inspired me to ask myself the following questions before saying something: Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

Well, just ask my husband how well I did yesterday; the day that we did our taxes. Maybe not the best day to start policing my word-vomit. Let's just say that lots of un-true, un-kind, and un-necessary things came out of my mouth and caused problems (mostly for me, since then I had to follow the un-spoken follow-up rule of this mantra: if you break it, feel guilty afterwards and punish yourself [leave it to me to invent a follow-up rule like that]).

Anyway, after the taxes, I decided to make some cookies. Don't ask me why I chose a recipe that (in my handwritten version in our cookbook) included "patience," "skills," and "dust-buster." Probably not a good plan for a day of un-true/kind/necessary-isms. However, I managed to find my Zen while making these, and just let them look how they looked, instead of perfect like if Deb Perelman had made them (I think the Zen was somewhere in all the cookie dough I ate).

Honey Almond Swirls (adapted from this classic crunchy-granola cookbook circa 1983):

In the bowl of a heavy-duty mixer (or in the bowl of someone who has a lot of elbow-grease), combine:
1 stick marzipan
1 c honey (buckwheat, please)
1 egg
1/2 t salt
1/2 t baking soda
1.5 t almond extract
2 c whole wheat flour

Mix until dough forms. Then remove half the dough and add 1/2 c cocoa to the rest. Mix until combined. Okay, this is where the patience, skills, and dust-buster (and a husband to hold the baby) comes in. Basically, you need to roll out both halves of the dough (separately), stack them on top of each other, roll that up, and slice it into cookies. You will then back them at 350 degrees for about 15 minutes (they brown fast, be careful!).

After yesterday, I have some tips for you: use wax paper, use way more flour (over and under the dough, on the rolling pin, anywhere you can) than you think you would ever need in a million years, chill the dough as many times as you need to. Here is my master tip: the chocolate half was way easier to handle than the non-chocolate half. I think that it was because the cocoa made the dough drier and much less sticky. So, I think next time I will add another 1/2 c flour to the non-chocolate half. That might render the other tips unnecessary.

You will bake these cookies and say, okay, these are decent, but they took way too much time. Then you will eat them tomorrow and you will change your mind. They are way better the next day (after your taxes are done).