Problem:
You're pretending that it's still summer. You bought plums one last time because they were cheap. It was the value pack. That was 2.6 weeks ago and they are still rock hard. In the meantime, your mom broke down and bought pears, but then she didn't take them with her when she went on vacation, and now they are too ripe to eat.
Solution:
First, ask your mom to cut off all of the sketchy spots (actually, my mom did this without even being asked):
Then, in a bowl, combine 2 sticks butter (fridge temp), 2 c flour, 1/2 c cornmeal, 1 t sugar, 1 t salt, and mash it all together with "the tuna chopper " (no actual tuna required). Press it into the bottom of a greased baking dish. Then slice up all the fruit, arrange it beautifully (optional), and sprinkle with 1 c sugar and 2 T flour:
400 degrees, 45 mins:
Eat a huge, delicious dinner that your mom made from stuff that she grew in her garden, and then enjoy the tart for dessert:
Problem solved. New problem: how to take the rest of the tart home in your car without scorching the rug.
I moss you,
Tofu
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