How To Make People Like Vegan Food

Dear Turkey,

Here are two ways to get people to like your vegan cooking:

1) Put cheese on it

2) Don't tell them it's vegan until they are done eating and they've already gushed about how good it was

For case #1, I present "Vegan" Zucchini Wrapped Enchiladas (with cheese):

This is a really awesome dish, and it would be almost as awesome without the tiny bit of cheese that I sprinkled on top, but let's start slow, people. My mom had this in a restaurant and then I was inspired by this recipe.

For the filling:

1. Bake 2 sweet potatoes until there is no doubt in your mind that they are done. Roughly chop them (leave the skin on).

2. Saute a little onion and garlic with some oil and cumin, and then add one regular-size can of black beans (undrained). Cook everything down until most of the liquid is gone, and then add the potatoes. Stir/mash for a few minutes until everything blends together but most of the beans are still whole.

For the wrappers:

1. Using a mandoline (or way better knife skills than I have) thinly slice 2-3 medium zucchinis lengthwise (you are aiming for 10-20 slices from EACH one). I know, this is when I asked myself if it was really going to be worth it or if I should just break out the tortillas. 

2. Line up 4-5 slices, slightly overlapping, to make a rectangle. Put a big dollop of filling inside and then roll it up (if your slices are thin enough, it will work!).

Bake:

1. Pour some olive oil in the bottom of a glass baking dish. Then pour about 1/3 of your sauce (I used Old El Paso Medium Enchilada Sauce -- I am ashamed, but it's tasty) into the bottom. Place the enchiladas in, and top with the rest of the sauce, and cheese, if you're not vegan.

2. Bake at 350 for 30 minutes and then broil for just a minute or so.

Serve:

1. With rice, avocado, mango, and hot sauce. 

For case #2, I present VEGAN Cupcakes with VEGAN Buttercream:

I've been looking for a cupcake recipe that doesn't use eggs so that my little one can eat the batter. These came from this blog that I respect but has way too many pictures. They call them "One Bowl..." and that is so true; there are no eggs, so you don't even have to wash the bowl between batter and frosting. Unless it bothers you that I licked it...um...
I am going to reproduce their recipe below. The only modifications I made were that I omitted the sprinkles from both and, in the frosting, I used 2.5 c of confectioners sugar and 1/2 c cocoa. Earth Balance vegan butter works really well here, even if you take it right from the freezer and microwave it almost to melting (for the frosting, too). I'm sure you can replace the non-dairy milk with regular milk, but I would be careful exchanging the vegan butter for real butter, it doesn't always work.

INGREDIENTS (Serves: 12)

CUPCAKES:

• 1 cup non-dairy milk + 1 tsp apple cider vinegar
• 1/2 cup (1 stick) vegan butter (such as Earth Balance), softened
• scant 1 cup granulated sugar
• 1 tsp pure vanilla extract
• 1 1/2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
• 1 1/2 tsp baking powder
• 1/2 tsp baking soda
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 1/3 cup rainbow sprinkles* + more for topping

FROSTING:

• 1/2 cup (1 stick) vegan butter, softened
• 2 1/2 - 3 cups powdered sugar
• 1/4 tsp vanilla extract
• Splash non-dairy milk

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F and line a standard muffin holder with 12 paper liners.
2. In a liquid measuring cup, measure out non-dairy milk and add vinegar or lemon juice. Let set to curdle/activate.
3. Add softened butter to a large mixing bowl and cream with a mixer. Then add sugar and vanilla and beat until combined and fluffy - about 2 minutes.
4. Add dry ingredients (omitting sprinkles) to a sifter in this order: 1 cup flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, and then remaining 1/2 cup flour.
5. Sift over butter/sugar mixture alternating with the almond milk mixture. Blend until until well incorporated and no large lumps remain.
6. Add sprinkles and gently fold/stir with a rubber spatula or mixing spoon.
7. Divide evenly among cupcake holders making sure NOT to overfill. These do best at 3/4 of the way up.
8. Bake on a center rack at 350 for 20-24 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean. They will only have a very, very slight golden brown color.
9. Let cool completely on a cooling rack. In the meantime, prepare frosting.
10. Wipe clean your mixing bowl and add softened butter. Beat until light and fluffy. Then add vanilla and mix once more.
11. Add powdered sugar 1/2 cup at a time and continue mixing until thick and creamy. Drizzle in a little non-dairy milk to thin. You want this frosting to be very thick so it will hold its shape once on the cupcakes.
12. Once cooled, frost cupcakes and top with sprinkles. Serve immediately. Store leftovers covered at room temperature or refrigerated.

Enjoy,

Tofu

Mom, Stop Giving Me Tomatoes (until tomorrow)

Dear Turkey,

Does your mom never stop giving you tomatoes? When you say you have enough, does she sneak five or ten more in your tupperware (so that it won't close) and then get mad when you refuse to take them home? Have you eaten so many tomatoes that your lips are starting to get sores on them and you have perma-heartburn (oh, that's just me?)?

In case you forgot, here is an awesome way to use up tomatoes (no, not the custard, you have to scroll down). I really improved it this time, too. First I broiled tomatoes, chilies, garlic, and shallots, with some salt and just enough oil so they didn't stick:

You can see that I really increased the amount of "other stuff":tomatoes. That was crucial. I broiled them until they were really getting black on top. Then I blended it up with more salt, and a few t of lemon juice and sugar (crucial). Last time I added water and I think that was a mistake:

I served this on some beans and rice. I wanted to make it a little more interesting than usual because I didn't have any cheese. One piece of advice: if you don't have cheese, put lots of butter in the rice and nobody will notice. For the beans, I used the usual suspects (no, not banana bread, scroll down):

For dessert, Happle Muffins. We love happles at our house (you know, you pick them at the Happle Farm). However, some of my constituents don't like big pieces of happle in their muffins, so I grated them. I took less than one story on NPR, and it was totally worth it.  

Happle Muffins:
(makes 24)

Combine:

3 c whole wheat flour
1/2 c ground flaxseed
5 t baking powder
1.5 t salt
1.5 t cinnamon
2 eggs or 1/2 c sour cream
1.5 c milk of your choice (not breastmilk)
2/3 c oil
1/2 c sugar + 2T brown sugar
2 apples, grated (don't peel them on my account) (I really wanted to write "happles," here, but then when you try to search for this recipe later, and you forgot that I said "happles," you will get no results)
cornmeal, for dusting, optional

Mix but don't overmix. Bake at 400 degrees, 20-25 mins. Use muffin papers.

Enjoy,
Tofu

Try This Rich Mom Trick

Dear People with Rich Moms (or at least moms who are richer than you),

The next time you are over at your mom's house (other people live there too, like my dad, but my mom is the person who goes to Wegmans), ask her to purchase these deliciously expensive organic snacks:

 

They taste just like the cheap ones that are full of chemicals that you enjoyed when you were a kid and your mom didn't know better (jk, Mom, you were always a Granola Girl), but they cost way more money, so you can feel really good about eating a box of each in one sitting. Seriously, though, these are two awesome companies and you will not regret making your mom buy these.

Enjoy,

Tofu

Try This Flat Belly Trick

1) Lie on your back and place one dish of Nature's Perfect Food on your belly (see below):

2) If you don't make your belly flat, Nature's Perfect Food will spill all over the place!

What to Eat When It's Zero Degrees

Dear Turkey,

Here is some more of my famous free advice. 

Adoring Fans: Tofu, what are some good things to eat when it's zero degrees and you can't get out of your driveway because the town is supposed to plow it but the truck that they usually use is "broke?" [Direct quote from the town.]

                                      

Tofu: well, Adoring Fans, first, I would recommend things that will give you a lot of calories per bite, since nothing burns as many calories as sitting at home in front of your fire worrying about when you'll be able to go running. 

Like, maybe some scalloped potatoes and sweet potatoes:

Followed by smoked trout dip:

And some crab cakes [scroll down -- thank you fellow blogger]:

Still hungry? What are you, me? Have some soup:

Roast some butternut squash, onions, garlic, ginger, brown sugar, cinnamon sticks (remove before blending), oil, salt, and pepper. Add it to 3c veggie broth and 1c cider. Puree.

I moss you,
Tofu

Carb Loading for Mother('?)s('?) Day

Dear Fellow Mothers,

Yes, I do not know where the apostrophe goes in Mother('?)s('?) Day. I don't even know if there is one. And yet, the Parenting Review and Permits Board still allowed me to become a mother. Go ahead, try and vote me off the island.

I am here to offer you some mother-ly advice about how to really appreciate that holiday with the tricky punctuation, especially if you are nursing, just ran ten miles, and are concerned about fulfilling your caloric needs.

First, appetizers:

If you are a lightweight, you can start working on this one on MD-eve. But the elapsed-time should be no more than 24 hours:

Second, carbs:

I stole this recipe from food52 (even though I am mad at them). The only things that I changed were: adding sourdough starter, replacing the milk with buttermilk, and melting the butter. Oh, yeah, and not measuring anything. They were still heavenly.

Third, carbs with fat and sugar:

I made this batter and let it chill overnight. I served it with berries, orange marmalade, and whole-milk ricotta with maple syrup stirred into it. 

You all probably wish that you were my mother, since we invited her, too; except for my actual mother, since she had to raise me in order to qualify for this brunch. 

Keep up the good work, Mom,

Tofu

How to Keep Organic Ice Cream from Getting too High and Mighty

Dear Turkey,

Now that you're en -- oh, you stop gossip-hand! -- that's not your story to tell! Ahem, sorry. Now that you're almost thirt -- oh, bad hand! Anyway, now that it's Sunday, I thought you might be looking for some handy advice tips from your old friend Tofu.

Have you ever enjoyed a big bowl of tasty, expensive, wholesome, organic ice cream and you've just felt like it was a little too full of itself? It didn't know how to gets its organic panties out of a bundle and just have fun? Well, here is a solution for you: 

Show that smarmy organic ice cream who is boss by smothering it with un-wholesome , NOT-food, M&Ms and Heath Bar bits (disclosure: I think that M&Ms are the perfect food).

Congr -- oh, stop it, hand!

Tofu