Confessions with a Side of Coleslaw

Dear Turkey,

First, the coleslaw. This isn't the confession that I advertised above, but I must confess that I've never made coleslaw before yesterday. Not only that, I've never liked it before yesterday. Not only that, I've still never made it; my husband did.

he started with some beautiful red cabbage that was ready for its close-up

then he added carrots, apples (you can skip those), fennel, and some fennel tops

for the sauce, he used mayo (yuck -- but I couldn't taste it), white horseradish, lime juice, sugar, salt, and cumin

It was delicious. If you want to eat it for many days, I suggest salting the cabbage overnight so it gives up some of its juices. Now for the confessions:

We have (relatively) a lot of hits on our blog (considering we are not famous). Most of them are from me. After I write a post, I usually click on the blog two or three times in order to admire my handiwork. Yes, I have subscribed myself to our blog via email. But, you know, it takes a while for those emails to come in. So usually I click another time or two, or ten, just to see if you've posted anything. And, after you have, I usually check again, since one day you might post two times in a row before I post again; you never know. And I like to be informed. I obsessively read my posts over and over again to make sure only the best writing makes it to publication (jk). I probably (scratch that, actually) spend more time feasting my eyes on my posts than I do writing them. 

Audience: If you've skipped down looking for the juicy part, here it is:
Sometimes I skim your posts.
Yep. I am a bad person. Because guess why? I AM THE INTENDED AUDIENCE! What do I need, a personal invitation? Well, you give me one: "Dear Tofurkey." 
But sometimes your posts are just so LONG. And my eyes start to get TIRED. I mean, I could be reading more of MY posts. When there are bullet points or lists my scroll bar just seems to slide down on its own.

Phew. There it is.

(Actually, this confession is only partly true. Sometimes I do skim your posts. But then I immediately scold myself for being such a bad friend and tell myself that kind of karma will never make us rich and famous, and I go back and read EVERY SINGLE WORD. Really. I do. I know I've probably lost all credibility now, but you have to believe me! 
I told my husband this story and he thought it was so funny that I was inspired to out myself to the world.)

I moss you (really),
Tofu