Dear Deb P.,
Since we are friends now, I'm going to be honest with you. This post will offend you. See, I took your beautiful Bittersweet Chocolate and Pear Cake and Tofurkey-ified it. So you might just want to stop reading right now and go polish your beautiful countertops or something.
I had the proverbial problem of the lingering pears:
You know what I mean. It's March. Nothing is in season except kale. You can't justify buying strawberries yet, but nothing is really good, not even grapes. You bought pears one more time, but they have been gassed into oblivion and they're just not exciting. Okay, people in Florida don't have this problem, but work with me here.
I remembered making a delicious chocolate pear cake from your blog, so I looked up the recipe. But then I made it easy. So easy you can make it before your baby crawls away, pulls himself up on your wood furniture, and starts eating the varnish. Almost.
Bittersweet Chocolate Pear Cake (I Am Ashamed Version) (adapted from Smitten Kitchen):
In a bowl, combine:
1 stick butter, soft (butter a pie dish with some of it first)
1 c flour
3/4 c sugar
1/4 t salt
1 T baking powder
3 eggs from your friend who is going to give you more because you are running out (although even eggs aren't in season right now)
Okay, Deb, close your eyes for this part: stir everything until the butter is mostly broken up and incorporated. Don't over- mix (it's like you're pretending that you're making muffins or scones instead of cake). Smoosh the dough into a buttered pie dish.
Sprinkle with about 2/3 c bittersweet chocolate chips.
And then slice those pears right over the top. Don't peel them. Heck, don't even wash them; I don't care (but do take that sticker off, since, if you live where we do, you won't find any produce right now that doesn't come with a sticker). Don't even bother arranging them; your baby is running away.
375 degrees, 45 minutes.
You'll probably still like it even though I didn't cream anything, or even get out the mixer.
Mazel Tov,
Tofu
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