Bread, Cheese, and Pesto From Scratch in One Hour

Dear Turkey,

In an hour, be

Transported to Italy,

Or just wow people

White Bean and Lemon Crostini

Dear Turkey,

What's a crostini?

I think it's bread that you toast

With some stuff on it?

Smashed Pea and White Bean Tostada

Dear Turkey,

Have you noticed that

Anything with the name "smashed

Peas" is trendy now?

Umami Hummus Sensation

Dear Turkey,

My hummus seemed to 

Lack something but I never

Would have guessed bouillon

Pesto!

Dear Turkey,

CSA members,

People whose moms have gardens

Will thank me for this

Mom, Stop Giving Me Tomatoes (until tomorrow)

Dear Turkey,

Does your mom never stop giving you tomatoes? When you say you have enough, does she sneak five or ten more in your tupperware (so that it won't close) and then get mad when you refuse to take them home? Have you eaten so many tomatoes that your lips are starting to get sores on them and you have perma-heartburn (oh, that's just me?)?

In case you forgot, here is an awesome way to use up tomatoes (no, not the custard, you have to scroll down). I really improved it this time, too. First I broiled tomatoes, chilies, garlic, and shallots, with some salt and just enough oil so they didn't stick:

You can see that I really increased the amount of "other stuff":tomatoes. That was crucial. I broiled them until they were really getting black on top. Then I blended it up with more salt, and a few t of lemon juice and sugar (crucial). Last time I added water and I think that was a mistake:

I served this on some beans and rice. I wanted to make it a little more interesting than usual because I didn't have any cheese. One piece of advice: if you don't have cheese, put lots of butter in the rice and nobody will notice. For the beans, I used the usual suspects (no, not banana bread, scroll down):

For dessert, Happle Muffins. We love happles at our house (you know, you pick them at the Happle Farm). However, some of my constituents don't like big pieces of happle in their muffins, so I grated them. I took less than one story on NPR, and it was totally worth it.  

Happle Muffins:
(makes 24)

Combine:

3 c whole wheat flour
1/2 c ground flaxseed
5 t baking powder
1.5 t salt
1.5 t cinnamon
2 eggs or 1/2 c sour cream
1.5 c milk of your choice (not breastmilk)
2/3 c oil
1/2 c sugar + 2T brown sugar
2 apples, grated (don't peel them on my account) (I really wanted to write "happles," here, but then when you try to search for this recipe later, and you forgot that I said "happles," you will get no results)
cornmeal, for dusting, optional

Mix but don't overmix. Bake at 400 degrees, 20-25 mins. Use muffin papers.

Enjoy,
Tofu

My Custard Is As Good As Yours

Dear Turkey,

Now that I have your attention, I'm going to tell you how I made frozen custard that's as good as yours. It's probably better. We should have a competition.

First of all, my recipe came from a famous, old, French person. The day before, I gently heated 4 egg yolks (save the whites!), 1 c milk (you could scald this milk with a delicate flavoring agent, like an herb, beforehand; since I was using strong flavoring agents, I waited until later), a pinch of salt, and 1/2 c sugar (that's it!) until it reached 165 degrees. Yes, use a thermometer. I stored this in the fridge overnight.

If you are using a kitchen-aid ice cream maker like I do, make sure that it's been in the back of your freezer for over 24 hours, and that your freezer is on the coldest setting. Also, freeze the bowl that you plan to store the custard in when you're done. When you're ready to make the ice cream, pour in the batter, 1 pint of heavy cream, and any strong flavoring agents (I used a T of vanilla extract and a few T of coffee liqueur). When it's almost done, add anything chunky (I used mini chocolate chips).

Eat it right away for that custard-y feeling, or freeze for a couple hours for maximum scoop-i-ness but optimum softness. In other words, you are trying to optimize taste and texture. As you know, custard with no artificial stabilizers won't keep for weeks in the freezer. 

For dessert, you will probably want something healthy, like iced coffee with foamed milk, coffee liqueur, whipped cream, and cinnamon:

And now for something actually healthy: Cornspacho. It's gazpacho made out of corn. Just boil or steam some corn for 1 minute (or microwave it with the husk on for 1 minute), cut it off the cob, and blend it with just enough water to make it soupy and salt to taste. If you still don't believe me about how good this is, try it.

Also, another awesome recipe from Smitten Kitchen: roasted tomato salsa. Just broil some salted tomatoes, jalapenos, and garlic until you start to see brown spots. Then blend it up, adding water if necessary.  

Oh, yeah, those egg whites. Mix them with a pinch of cream of tartar, a pinch of salt, 1 T vanilla, and 1/2 c or 1 c (depending on how sweet you like it) sugar, until stiff peaks form. Spoon onto a baking sheet lined with parchment paper and bake at 200 degrees (this will take several hours if it's humid).

Enjoy,

Tofu

Sundried Tomato Pesto

Dear Turkey,

Sundried tomato pesto: umami taste sensation, full of good healthy fats, a little bit sweet so when you eat it with salty chips you can't stop, a good way to stretch those expensive sundried tomatoes. 

I used to make this all the time, and then I kind of forgot about it, but it's really good. And if you have weird friends who don't like sundried tomatoes, you might be able to trick them with this if it's a texture thing.

Sundried tomato pesto adapted from one of my favorite cookbooks:

In your vitamix blender that will be smelling hot by the time this is over, blend:

1 jar (8 or 12 oz) sundried tomatoes and their oil

1 c pine nuts or pecans if you're cheap

1 regular-size can black olives (pour off about 90% of the brine first)

1 c italian parsley

1 T salt

2-4 T lemon juice, or however much you need to make it blend-able (you can also add water if it's getting too lemony)

 

If you run out of chips, it's awesome on pasta or in a wrap.

Enjoy,

Tofu

What Dinner Tastes Like at 9 PM

Dear Turkey,

On my birthday, I pretended to be one of those hip European people who eats dinner at 9 PM. Actually, I decided that I wanted to go running at 6 PM, so that meant that we didn't eat until the time formerly known as my bedtime.

Once I looked in the mirror and said, "Mama's old." Now my son says, "Mama's old," whenever I look in the mirror. Or whenever he fees like it, whichever happens sooner. Now that I am Old, I am working on going with the flow and enjoying life and all of those cliches. So, instead of stressing about how late it was, I lit a candle on the picnic table and enjoyed my dinner. (If you don't think this is a big accomplishment, you don't know me).

Unfortunately for you, the person who prepared my dinner firmly believes that I should only post pictures of food that I actually cook, and not pictures of food that he actually cooks (good thing you don't believe that, Mom). So, here's what I actually did:

I washed this beautiful arugula and these beautiful non-local cherries. 

And then we had hummus that you make in the microwave from Minimalist Baker, grilled cod with this rub from Budget Bytes, and grilled chickpea salad with red onion and sourdough. If you are trying to decide if you're too lazy to click on these links or not, I promise you, it's worth it.

Enjoy,

Tofu

Cowboy Xavier

Dear Turkey,

I love Cowboy Caviar. So does my mom, but her iPhone text message auto-correct always changes it to "Cowboy Xavier." This is a recipe that we had at a party last weekend, and it's one of the best iterations of Cowboy Xavier that I've had. So, Cowboy Xavier, wherever you are, this is for you: 

Cowboy Caviar

• 1 can black beans
• 1 can whole kernel corn
• 1/3 cup green onion
• 1/3 cup cilantro
• 2-3 chopped tomatoes
• 2-3 avocados (depends on how much you like avocado)

Cowboy Caviar Dressing

• 1/4 cup olive oil
• 1/4 cup red wine vinegar
• 1 clove fresh pressed garlic
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 1/8 tsp pepper

Mix everything except the tomatoes and avocado earlier in the day or the day before to let dressing soak in and put avocado right before serving. Serve with corn chips.

While I have your attention, here is what I did last night with some potatoes that were practically compost-material and some shallots that were about to turn green and blue (if you've ever seen a moldy shallot you know what I mean):

Slice the potatoes and shallots. Cover a cookie sheet with foil and then generously oil it. Sprinkle the veggies with oil, salt, pepper, garlic powder, and season salt. Bake at 350 degrees for an hour or so:

These were so good, it made me wonder why anyone eats regular fries.

I moss you,

Tofu

What to Eat When It's Zero Degrees

Dear Turkey,

Here is some more of my famous free advice. 

Adoring Fans: Tofu, what are some good things to eat when it's zero degrees and you can't get out of your driveway because the town is supposed to plow it but the truck that they usually use is "broke?" [Direct quote from the town.]

                                      

Tofu: well, Adoring Fans, first, I would recommend things that will give you a lot of calories per bite, since nothing burns as many calories as sitting at home in front of your fire worrying about when you'll be able to go running. 

Like, maybe some scalloped potatoes and sweet potatoes:

Followed by smoked trout dip:

And some crab cakes [scroll down -- thank you fellow blogger]:

Still hungry? What are you, me? Have some soup:

Roast some butternut squash, onions, garlic, ginger, brown sugar, cinnamon sticks (remove before blending), oil, salt, and pepper. Add it to 3c veggie broth and 1c cider. Puree.

I moss you,
Tofu

I Finally Made Decent Hummus

Dear Lt. Veggie Nugget,

I think that you will agree that it was worth it to watch my baby while I "made hummus" yesterday, and then again while I actually made hummus. Below you will see the hummus constituents:

The tahini was absent on the day that this photo was taken. Actually, I forgot about it until I tasted the hummus for the first time. The secret? I did not drain the chickpeas. Next time, I will drain a little liquid out of one can, and save it to add later if necessary. I used about 1 T of garlic, 2 T of cumin, 1 T paprika, 1 t pepper, 1 t salt (also absent from photo), 1 T of olive oil, many T of lemon juice, and 3-4 heaping T of tahini. 

I blended it up, and, finally, a hummus that wasn't too thick. Lifetime quest.

Despite what I might have said before, I don't really like crumble, except for this kind. But I do like this pear tart. I just made a pie crust (3 c flour, 1/3 c water, 1 egg, 1 t salt, 1 t cider vinegar, 1.5 c Crisco -- that makes three crusts) and sliced the pears on top. I drizzled/plopped maple syrup and orange marmalade on that, and then baked it at 425 for about 15 mins.

Enjoy your nap,

Tofu