One Pot Crispy Steamed Rice and Lentils

Dear Turkey,

I adore my rice

Cooker, but you should have this

In your repertoire

Creamy, Tangy, Vegan, and Easy Coconut Milk Yogurt

Dear Turkey,

You need coconut

Milk and bacteria, but

No yogurt maker

Amazing Chocolate Sorbet

Dear Turkey,

I wanted to see

If I could make this as well

As the ice cream store

Homemade Vegan Gummies

Dear Turkey,

I try not to eat

Gelatin, so this was a

Tempting recipe

Cauliflower Pizza

Dear Turkey,

Sometimes when things are

All over the internet

You have to try them

Superfood Chia Breakfast Bowls

Dear Turkey,

The book Born to Run

Explains that the best runners

Eat lots of chia

I Made Even More Cheese!

Dear Turkey,

Once you make cheese you'll

See how much better it is 

Than cheese from the store

I Made More Cheese!

Dear Turkey,

Just like the last time

I made real, actual cheese

In just an hour

I Made Cheese!

Dear Turkey,

"What flavor of cheese?"

My mom asked. "Easy," I said.

"Easy's a flavor?"

Vegan Whoopie Pies

Dear Turkey,

Give these to someone

But don't divulge the secret

Ingredient first

Ciabatta

Dear Turkey,

Ciabatta bread is the kind of thing that impresses people. I even impress myself when I make it. It's really easy, but I can understand why they charge $4 for it at the store -- it's that good.

You can start making ciabatta the day before, two days before if you're an overachiever, or just a few hours before you want to eat it. It helps if you have a stand mixer, but it's not required. So, if you have some people you need to impress, or even just yourself, go for it.

Beet Chips

Dear Turkey,

Problem: all of your friends are overwhelmed by their CSA shares. You just can't leave their houses without graciously accepting giant cabbages, onions, radishes, and beets. Ah, the bounty.
One week later: you really need to do something with those beets so that you can make room in your fridge for the things that you actually bought.*

*Friends: this blog entry is for entertainment purposes only. Please feel free to keep giving me food.

Solution: Beautiful, Sweet and Salty Beet Chips that Look Like Rose Petals (bonus)

Black Bean Brownies!

Dear Turkey,

Last weekend, one of our friends told me that she had just made black bean brownies. To me, black beans + brownies is more intriguing than whole wheat + cookies. Then, she made it even more exciting by telling me that she couldn't tell if they were good. He husband hated them. "I think they are good," she said, "but maybe it's just because I made them." I can relate.

I knew that I had to try them. I tasted the batter and I was concerned. It kind of tasted like chocolate black bean dip, but not in a good, mole, way. But then I baked them. They were good, like a flourless chocolate cake (although they do have flour). All that weird bean-i-ness was gone. They were even better the next day. I think that if you hide the bean can, people would not be able to guess the secret ingredient.

Amazingly Good Black Bean Brownines  Flourless Chocolate Cake

Now My Custard Is Really Awesome

Dear Turkey,

Now that you know how good my custard is, you are probably too embarrassed to read my blog. Now you I can be even more ashamed with this awesome addition:

Grated chocolate. Grating chocolate by hand is really easy (you just say, honey, will you grate this chocolate?).

The small pieces make it that much fluffier/more interesting/delicious. I put them in right at the end, when you think your ice cream maker can hardly take it anymore.
Enjoy,
Tofu

Make Your Own Chocolate Milk

Dear Turkey,

I never really thought it was worth it to make my own chocolate milk until I read this blog post. This blog has never failed me (except that I get carpal tunnel syndrome from having to scroll through all of the pictures [which, admittedly, are way better than mine]), so I was kind of won over by her argument that homemade chocolate milk is way richer and creamier than the store bought version.

This is really like a smoothie with no ice, which was nice for a change. I blended up 2 c of vanilla soymilk, 1/2 c frozen raspberries, dates (just 4 or 5 -- that's enough), and 1/4 c cocoa. Make sure you blend it until it's really smooth (which will take like 5 seconds if you have a Vitamix -- I wouldn't know).

It really did turn out thick and creamy, kind of like a cross between a smoothie and a milkshake. The raspberry/chocolate flavor was awesome. I couldn't really taste the dates, but they added sweetness and made it a little thicker while counteracting the powdery-cocoa-thickness. It was so satisfying that I turned down a trip to the ice cream store right after I drank it. True story. Space placemat optional.

Enjoy,

Tofu 

My Custard Is As Good As Yours

Dear Turkey,

Now that I have your attention, I'm going to tell you how I made frozen custard that's as good as yours. It's probably better. We should have a competition.

First of all, my recipe came from a famous, old, French person. The day before, I gently heated 4 egg yolks (save the whites!), 1 c milk (you could scald this milk with a delicate flavoring agent, like an herb, beforehand; since I was using strong flavoring agents, I waited until later), a pinch of salt, and 1/2 c sugar (that's it!) until it reached 165 degrees. Yes, use a thermometer. I stored this in the fridge overnight.

If you are using a kitchen-aid ice cream maker like I do, make sure that it's been in the back of your freezer for over 24 hours, and that your freezer is on the coldest setting. Also, freeze the bowl that you plan to store the custard in when you're done. When you're ready to make the ice cream, pour in the batter, 1 pint of heavy cream, and any strong flavoring agents (I used a T of vanilla extract and a few T of coffee liqueur). When it's almost done, add anything chunky (I used mini chocolate chips).

Eat it right away for that custard-y feeling, or freeze for a couple hours for maximum scoop-i-ness but optimum softness. In other words, you are trying to optimize taste and texture. As you know, custard with no artificial stabilizers won't keep for weeks in the freezer. 

For dessert, you will probably want something healthy, like iced coffee with foamed milk, coffee liqueur, whipped cream, and cinnamon:

And now for something actually healthy: Cornspacho. It's gazpacho made out of corn. Just boil or steam some corn for 1 minute (or microwave it with the husk on for 1 minute), cut it off the cob, and blend it with just enough water to make it soupy and salt to taste. If you still don't believe me about how good this is, try it.

Also, another awesome recipe from Smitten Kitchen: roasted tomato salsa. Just broil some salted tomatoes, jalapenos, and garlic until you start to see brown spots. Then blend it up, adding water if necessary.  

Oh, yeah, those egg whites. Mix them with a pinch of cream of tartar, a pinch of salt, 1 T vanilla, and 1/2 c or 1 c (depending on how sweet you like it) sugar, until stiff peaks form. Spoon onto a baking sheet lined with parchment paper and bake at 200 degrees (this will take several hours if it's humid).

Enjoy,

Tofu

Those Fruity Vinegars

Dear Turkey,

Remember when you gave me these fruity vinegars?

I know, it was probably for Christmas, but I was saving them. You can stop judging me now because I finally used them:

I cooked some scallops in some butter, oil, salt, and garlic (enough so that you can flip them, but not so much so that they don't stick at all, since you want them to get all crispy), flipping them once, until they were nice and brown and their middles were 135 degrees. Then I removed the scallops and the fat and deglazed the hot pan with white wine, lime juice, and the blood orange fruity vinegar (again, just enough of each so that there is a centimeter or two of liquid in the bottom of the pan). I scraped the browned umami-sensation-fat off of the bottom of the pan for a minute or two, and poured the sauce over the scallops. Deglazing the pan makes delicious sauce and makes you feel like you really know how to cook every time you say it. 

I served them with a risotto kind of like this one and asparagus. 

For dessert, ice cream from where I got married topped with balsamic/blackberry fruity vinegar sauce/caramel. I know in my head that vinegar is really just sugar, but it's still fun to cook it down (slowly!) until it turns into a sauce/caramel/rock (depending on how long you cook it). I didn't add any extra sugar or fat or anything:

So you can feel free to buy me some more presents, now that you know I'm not saving them,

Tofu

How do they Make Tapioca Anyway?

Dear Astute Work Friend (aka "Iwasborntobe30"),

Thank you for asking me how to make tapioca, and then finding the answer for me. As we discussed, tapioca is from the yuca plant, but here's how the magic happens:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbt0ioecwmc

And now we know,
Tofu

Ethiopian Food?

Dear Turkey,

As you know, I love Ethiopian Food. If only I could make it taste as good as it does when we go out. I had a realization: I've made beans and rice thousands of times. I've made Ethiopian food 5 or 10 times. So, I need to practice.

I did some research, and a message board on food52 directed me to an Ethiopian recipes website. For the injera, I pretty much followed the directions, except, instead of fermenting the dough, I added some of my sourdough starter and just let it stand at room temperature for about 8 hours. I cooked it in a nonstick pan with a tiny bit of oil and it turned out pretty good. 

The yellow split peas were tasty. The only change that we made was that we pureed them (and they required a little more water than the recipe said; maybe because I cooked them hotter). 

We still need practice the stew. We think that maybe this recipe is more "busy" tasting than what we are used to; it turned out like Indian curry (which makes sense because there are Indian influences on Ethiopian food). 

For dessert, I blended frozen bananas, a few dates, soymilk, and cinnamon. Then I froze it for another half hour or so. I topped it with my easy chocolate sauce: maple syrup with cocoa stirred in. 

I moss you,

Tofu

The Great Coffee Experiment Results

Dear Not Turkey,

In the name of science, I bought two kinds of soymilk -- the usual and Silk Original:

Silk, you let me down:

No layers, however, the sugar and sketchy additives in the Silk made for a tasty latte. I even tried adding a hot shot on top of cold Silk and it still mixed.

I think I need to try this one because is has 130 calories/serving (instead of 100), so maybe that will hold up the coffee more.

Later,

Tofu