Knishes!

Dear Turkey,

I was scared that this

Recipe would be too hard,

But it was not bad!

Noodle Kugel

Dear Turkey,

Veggie kugel is

Great, but sometimes you really

Want to go all out

Awesome Vegan Birthday Cake

Dear Turkey,

I had to convince

My mom that making your own

Birthday cake is fun

Irish Soda Bread Beta Version

Dear Turkey,

If you've tried the first

Version, then you know: Irish

Soda bread just rules

Healthy Vegan Gingerbread Cookies

Dear Turkey,

These don't taste healthy

And in my house they were gone

In less than a day

Rugelach

Dear Turkey,

All Jews can rejoice

When they read this and see how

Fast one can make these

Tapioca Coconut Parfaits

Dear Turkey,

I made this at my

First real job: as a waitress

In a chic tea shop

Bananas Foster Crepes

Dear Turkey,

I was reading a glossy food magazine yesterday (I am ashamed), and they had this no-bake cake made of a stack of crepes glued together with delicious sugar and stuff. It looked good, but I disagreed with their premise that this was 1) easier than baking a cake, and 2) cooler than baking a cake in summer. Having made a big stack of crepes yesterday, I can tell you that standing in front of a hot stove for 20 or 30 minutes is neither easier nor cooler than putting a cake in the oven and coming back 20 or 30 or 50 minutes later.

In conclusion, if you're going to bother making crepes, don't smoosh them into a cake so that nobody can really appreciate the fruits of your labor. First you can do something like this. And then you can do something like this:

No-Bake Vegan Graham Cracker Peanut Butter Maple Cookies

Dear Turkey,

The name says it all. I used to make these cookies with my mom when I was little. In fact, this recipe may have been the first thing that I ever "baked" myself (and, since baking is mostly about eating the batter, I think I got the experience). My mom used to use dried milk; I was going to replace it with flax, but the dough came together just fine without it.

These cookies are vegan, sweet enough for dessert, and healthy enough for breakfast. They are easy to make, and your toddler can crush the crackers, roll the cookies out, and stick on raisins for eyes (cookies with more than 2 raisins also have a nose, or, perhaps, ears).

Savory Crepes

Dear Turkey,

Remember when I made crepes the other day? Yeah, that was awesome.

Last weekend, my mom asked me to make savory crepes. She used to rock these awesome crepes with asparagus and hollandaise sauce, and I tried to recreate that, sans asparagus and hollandaise sauce (if you look in the Betty Crocker cookbook, it appears that people had a lot of free time in the seventies to cook intricate foods). These only took about 30 minutes, including making the crepes and baking time, and nobody missed the hollandaise (least of all me, since I didn't have to make it).

Crepes

Dear Turkey,

Last week my mom bought a package of really good crepes that had been imported from France. Yup. From France. On a plane or a container ship. They cost $4.99.

I'm not saying that they weren't really good. They were really good. But it got me wondering how many crepes I could make for $5. Answer: a lot. And it took less time to make them than it would take to drive to the store. It's amazing how luxurious crepes taste, considering how easy they are to make.

Healthy Vegan Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Bread

Dear Turkey,

In my myriad posts about pumpkin breads, I have failed you. I was googling my own blog (no shame) to find the recipe for the healthy pumpkin bread that I make all the time, and I realized that I never posted it. I guess I make it so often that I always assume I posted it last time.

I developed this recipe because I thought that there would be a way to make my usual famous pumpkin chocolate chip bread with whole wheat flour, no eggs, and less sugar. I replaced the flour with whole wheat flour, the eggs with soy milk and cut the sugar by 2/3 and I thought that you couldn't even tell. At first, my mom (PCCB die-hard) did not approve. But even she came around eventually. Not that there isn't a special place in my life for regular pumpkin bread, but if we are going to plow through one of these in a day or two, it may as well be the healthy kind (and you can eat the batter).

The Best Vegetarian Stuffing

Dear Turkey,

After this, I will be done telling you about Thanksgiving. But the world needs to know about my mom's vegetarian stuffing. Especially since (after 4 iterations) she finally wrote down the actual recipe that someone who isn't my mom can follow.

You may accuse me of not knowing anything about stuffing. Fine. But then why did I have to keep the meat-eaters from eating all of it?

Mushroom Gravy

Dear Turkey,

Thanksgiving. The one time of year that I get to eat mushroom gravy see you. It's always delicious, creamy, better than the real gravy (I'm told), liked by people who "don't like mushrooms" a really special time when you and I get together.

Like corn pudding, mushroom gravy isn't a Thanksgiving staple for most people. But it should be. Hence my dream that this post will go viral.

Corn Pudding

Dear World,

Corn Pudding. It's a Thanksgiving staple at my house and it should be at yours too. Crunchy, sweet, salty, creamy, easy to make, this is my favorite Thanksgiving dish. Enough said.

Happy New Year

Dear Turkey,

'Tis the season for all non-Jews to be jealous of the Gastronomical Jews who have decided that we're Jewish enough this year to take Rosh Hashanah off.

This year I put myself in charge of Rosh Hashanah:

Me: I'm going to be in charge of Rosh Hashanah
My Mom: Okay, well, your aunt usually makes a brisket, and a roast chick-
Me: Take it or leave it, Mom, and, PS, you have to watch my child

Despite these age-old archetypal holiday issues, I think everyone was impressed with my Rosh Hashanah-authority. I even printed out "those special words" (that's what my son called them), and we all said them together in what could not be called Hebrew even by animals that don't have ears or bilateral symmetry.

Here's what I made:

First, I made this really easy Challah (inspired by this Challah that I thought was really easy before I made this one). I kept the ingredients mostly the same, omitting the starter, and replacing the orange zest with a diced apple. I just let it rise in the bowl for an hour or so, and then plopped it onto my baking stone (with parchment). You don't even have to braid it for Rosh Hashanah, so I just painted it with one egg and 1 T sugar and baked it according to the directions. Remember, "if it's brown, it's cookin'; if it's black, it's done" - my grandma. 

For dinner:

Mushrooms and barley, veggie kugel, and kasha and bowties. 

It's really easy to make kasha and bowties and mushrooms and barley at the same time, since they are basically the same thing. Just double the onion and mushroom saute. Then soak 1 c kasha (buckwheat groats) in 1 egg and add it to the designated half of the saute. Cook until the egg is mostly gone, about 5 mins. Then add 4 c of hot veggie broth (the dark kind), and cook until the broth is mostly gone (a pattern). Meanwhile, cook 8 oz of bowtie pasta and toss with butter. Then combine everything with more Jewish spices and parsley if you want. 

For the veggie kugel: chop 1 sweet potato, 1 zucchini, 1 carrot, and 1 onion in the food processor (it's worth it). Then combine that with 1 c flour, 1 t baking powder, a few T salt, some pepper, and 4 eggs. Grease a baking dish like it's your job and bake it at 400 degrees for 45 minutes, finishing under the broiler. Serve with hot sauce.

This meal is great because you can make everything earlier in the day and warm it all up in the oven right before you eat. 

For dessert:

Apple and honey pie bars. I used my usual recipe for the crust, adding 1 t lemon zest. Then I put half of the crust in the pan and then spread a big jar of apple butter (without added sugar) on that. Then I added the rest of the crust and drizzled honey on top. 

Enjoy (no more than 18 minutes before sundown),

Tofu

Heirloom. Tomato. Caprese.

Dear Turkey,

I am a snob snob. Meaning, I don't like snobs, and that makes me a snob. This sentiment extends to tomato snobs, at least the ones who pay $3.99/lb for "heirloom tomatoes" from Wegmans in January. This is different (because if it weren't then I would be a snob, too). These heirloom tomatoes are so real that I can't even tell if they are all tomatoes. (You should be happy that I resisted the urge [haha] to arrange them in a naughty configuration for this picture.) 

Don't forget the heirloom (licorice flavored -- it's good, trust me) basil:

Also, that bread knife is an heirloom because it was my grandma's and my mom continues to use it despite the fact that it's broken.

Enjoy,

Tofu

My Bday Cake

Dear Turkey,

As you know, my mom ALWAYS makes me a birthday cake with mint chip ice cream, hot fudge, and oreo crust (1 part oreo : 1.5 parts butter) [add your own cherries]. Most people do not appreciate this ice cream cake, not even my mom, who found out that she was pregnant with my sister because making it made her puke when I was 8. It still makes her want to puke...and I still force her to make it for me...ah, motherhood...

Well, my mom cleverly went on vacation during my birthday this year (ah...motherhood...), so, instead of making me a cake, she ordered this awesome-ly retro one:

It even came from this really old-school ice cream place that was a trolley car once (or something). It's by the beach and the ice cream probably has sand in it, but I couldn't tell. (I'm sure you don't want me to tell you about the night I couldn't get sand out of my retainer.)

Enough about my birthday, and my vacation, and me -- wait, this is my blog,

Tofu

Fake Thanksgiving

Dear Mom,

Thank you for making all of the usual delicious Thanksgiving food, and for inventing Fake Thanksgiving [this is the day after Thanksgiving, where we invite the other side of the family; you know -- the one that's not presentable enough for Real Thanksgiving], which is just as awesome as Real Thanksgiving.

This year, you really outdid yourself; we had celebrations the two nights before Real Thanksgiving. I declare them a tradition and will henceforth expect them every year. Today, we are only going to discuss one of the pre-Thanksgiving meals, since I had a throwing-up-illness and didn't enjoy the other one as much as I would have liked.

Pre-Thanksgiving Risotto:

First, microwave 1 cup of frozen peas, chop up 2 cups of asparagus, and dice some shallots. Sautee the shallots in a few tablespoons of olive oil and 1 tablespoon of lemon zest. Then add 1 cup of arborio rice and sautee that until you can't handle how dry it's getting. Pour in 1 cup of white wine and let it absorb. Slowly ladle in 4 cups of hot veggie broth (this should take about 20 mins, keep stirring). When you're down to the last ladle (and the rice is not too al dente), add the veggies and the juice of 2 or 3 lemons. Cook just until the veggies are done.

Serve with a beautiful salad without cheese on it because Lt. Veggie Nugget is being vegan (notice I didn't say that she is vegan).

For dessert, Pear Rosemary Cake from Real Simple Magazine [some language changed by Tofu]:

Butter a spring-form pan (if I were making this at home, I would just use a pie tin) and preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Then whisk together:

1 stick melted butter

1 1/4 c flour

1/2 c cornmeal

2 t baking powder

1/4 t baking soda

1/2 t salt

1 c sugar

1/2 c buttermilk

2 eggs

Then fold in 2 pears, sliced

Bake 45-55 mins.

Meanwhile, heat 1/4 c sugar, 1/4 c water, and some sprigs of rosemary. Cook until the sugar melts. When the cake is cool, brush the syrup onto the cake. 

Then go running, even though there was an ice storm. 

Bonus Material: Sweet Potato Chili from Fake Thanksgiving That Everyone Loves:

Here is the recipe (we also added some diced red and green peppers, we added 1 T butter to the olive oil, we doubled the honey, and omitted the cayenne [not my idea]). Next year, I plan on puking again so that I'm not available to help, and then have another miraculous recovery right before it's time to eat. Tradition. 

Thanks, Mom,

Tofu

Creamy Cauliflower Bisque

Dear Turkey,

Remember that. cauliflower. that I got as a present? Well, I had only used half of it, and it was time to use the rest. Since I have OCD, I hate it when I can't see the back of my fridge at all times (or when I can't see my reflection in any given shelf at any given time). So I emptied the fridge and challenged myself to make the contents disappear (and not by putting them in the compost). 

Roasting and pureeing are two of my secret weapons for turning a lot of food into not a lot of food. (My other secret weapon is just sitting down and eating it all up.) So I made a soup and a chutney.

Creamy Cauliflower Bisque:

In a big Pyrex baking dish, coarsely chop the following and roast it at 425 degrees for about an hour:

3-4 c cauliflower

2 small sweet potatoes

1 onion

3 cloves garlic

1 handful of fresh parsley and oregano (who says you can't roast parsley?)

1 poblano

1/4 c olive oil (you don't have to chop that)

1/2 stick butter

lots of salt

Then heat up 6 c of veggie broth, several tablespoons of cumin and lime juice, and add the roasted veggies and all of their delicious juices. Puree it and stir in a tablespoon or two of cream. Decorate with the chips and chutney, and serve with a sliced serrano on the side for non-wusses:

For the "chips" I ripped up some corn tortillas and sprinkled/drizzled them with olive oil, salt, lime juice and cumin and baked them at 425 degrees for ten minutes. For the chutney: blend 1 c (each) parsley, cilantro, and mint with 1 or 2 t (each) sugar and salt (start with 1), and several tablespoons of lime juice. It would be a lot easier if you had a Vitamix. Oh, wait, you do. But I don't. 

I was inspired to make the cake by this cool blog. If you click on her link you will see how much easier (but less beautiful) my version is. The cake is just our standby Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Bread (PCCB) without the chocolate chips:

3.5 c flour

2 t baking soda

1 t cinnamon

1 t nutmeg

3 c sugar

1 c oil

4 eggs

2/3 c water

1 regular-size can pumpkin

Mix until combined. Bake 1 hr in a greased pan at 350 degrees. 

I used her recipe for the frosting, but on her blog it is "the filling." It was not hard and it was totally worth it. I'd been reading a lot lately about how good homemade butterscotch is and I needed to know if the hype was real. It's real, Turkey. 

So, stale corn tortillas, almost-expired cream and broth, and a two whole grocery bags of veggies and herbs that are almost dead + a couple of hours + someone to watch your baby + Vitamix = happy full family.

I moss you,

Tofu